meal

I finally went to buy a pot for cooking.

It's been months that I refused to cook,even I knew eating outside coats a lot....however every single time when I wanted to cook..I fell into this realy bad mood,seems like reminded me that the one who I wanted so badly to cook for is gone.

Don't know why today I went to buy it and decided right away to cook a good meal for tonight.

As usual,a glass of white wine and music.
I felt so great seems like to be reborn from dark side.

Anyway I am currently reading a book called The love of mothers is terrified.

I was really tired so I didn't read that much.
There is a sentence said: You dont have expectation for you,that is why you are putting all your heart and mind on other person.

I was shocked.....wondering the love which I gave isnt it the same thing?

What is my expectation for myself? I cant remember anymore since when I lost the expectation for my future.

I decided to try,at least just try to figure it out.

I should use my ambition to try to design。。。。then we will c。

Cheers for a beautiful night in my flat.