Childlike = maybe childish

These days being alone and planning my life from friends,family and work (which at first wanted to force myself to get used to the life alone-which might happens once a while or more often that people  who are so familiar to me are away,then what should I do) , I have to say that I had thought a lot.

Which is a good process to me that I started to open the gift "break up" which once broke my heart and my "so called wonderful life".

I started to realize that my childlike maybe equels childish.
I used to spend days waiting and counting when I am able to spend time with lover, and spent most of the time doing nothing home with him.

I onced call it "simple happiness", however, now since I started to plan my days alone, I found out that my "simple happiness" was a time-wasted.
And it lead us to an empty life.

It's such a shame to admit that I once thought and acted this.

I forgot that under my watch and "love", slowly tracked us in this little circle that we became unable to do anything.

I should assist whoever I love to reach more his dreams, to focus more on his dreams by taking care of my life.
Because at this age, only working hard and speeding up for what we dreamed of will gain us opportunity to win our dream life in the future.
However, I was like a child to ask for more time with me staying home or watching movies, or even spending hours in fancy restaurant.

Like a child, indeed, really childlike thinking at the end things will come in a very smooth way.

However, at the end I found myself there and feel more empty, since like I forgot how fun it is when two people got together waved by dreams and connected by the desire to challenge.

I remember when I entered the senior high, my father once told me, be thankful to those who are friends and also sometimes are strict to you.
He said,only the true friend will suprivise you to get better.
Those who will only hang out with you for fun, and be super easy to you, you can't mix them with your truly friends.


I guess in the past, I was one of "fun friends", I should have tried harder to support and to notice what my other half needs at each moment.
Instead of thinking what a relax day and let it happen as usual.

A woman who will be able to handle her life and also to make sure that both parts are moving forward instead of stopping at some certain level.

I don't know about men's angle so I guess I will leave there just speak for my part.

I will warn myself and to be more alert when I will have the chance to fall in love again.
Love is not everything, because we use it as excuses.
The true one should be able to move forward.

Cheers for thoughts, they always come across when you will be calm and peaceful.