Release emotion

These days I am basically locked up by my broken door, and for the safety, I had no choice but satying in my house all day long.

It's impossible basically to go on a exhibition or go somewhere more than 2 hours.

And some emotion was like me being locked in my mind and started to affect me, I can feel it.

At first, I blamed on myself , that how come after so many practices I will still feel the negative emotion around.

I felt really frustrated and once again almost give in to these emotions.

One of my mentors reminds me that I should continue to create, especially, I was studying design for a long time.

So, I took two hours to go finding the material, which will allow me to draw wildly, and thank god that I found it when everyone in italy is on vacation.

I spent quite amount of money but I felt really excited like kids receiving their Xmas gifts.

Once I got home, I didn't wait for a second but start to draw.

I don't care what people might judge, but just draw.

Guess what, after 3 hours of drawing, for the first time in these days, I am hungry like hell.

I sent the pictures to her and thank her for the remediation, and I will never forget her reply:

She said: look, your negtive emotion today ends up creation, they transformed into beautiful ideas.

I realized one thing, that no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to avoid having negative emotions. That is a toxic way to temporary solve the problems but it will come along after with more terrible reaction.

The point is how to release your anger, sadness and worries, instead of throwing to other people and expect someone can remove or make you forget the emotions.

My happy project isn't about to be always happy, instead, is to be able to release myself from all the things which cause my pain and anger.

What I have learned today is whenever I feel to be surrounded by emotions, I will release them by sports and creation.

I want to love myself better and more, and the evidence to be loved by myself is to release myself from emotions caused by anything, anyone, anywhere.

I must also be thankful to those whoever hurtled me, because you make me learn this lesson.

Cheers for today.