Passion

This blog is dedicated to all my friends who now still fight for design.

I wish we never forget the original passion for what we love to do, and carry it to continue our adventure, no matter where you are.

Without the passion, we are just O.P.

Last night in the club with some friends to relax, came to me this gentleman and started to ask me:

Hey where you from?

You work or study in Milan?

Studied in Marangoni and then work?

Work in showroom, which one?( this is the question I hate the most)

So you work in a showroom for fashion?

What is your master for studies?

About your job, how you find it in Italy> well, comfortable came out from my mouth.... and then I started to think today about all these questions.

I remembered once I mentioned that the four years I spent in Milan are not easy and comfortable.

Since now the first word came out my mouth was comfortable made me confused a lot.

I don’t have so many projects at the same time to work on and there is no deadline, I just have to be in the office on time and finish my work , then go home.

I don’t have to stay up late for figuring out an inspiration and basically I don’t need to be inspired as before anymore.

I don’t have to be so nervous to find the next pay check in order to survive indecently and I know I will just make more money than now in the near future.

The working Visa offers me more than 2 years to keep my life in Milan so I don’t have to work so hard to prove myself because I have time now.

But why I felt so lost when I thought out these questions and cooperation from past and now?

There seems are not zones I should worry about……

Then came to this point: I missed my old life while I was a student or a stage girl even back then I had so many things to worry about.

Because since I got in the position I have now, I started to feel relax and feel maybe this is what I always want if I can live forever like this.

Everything seems going very well, such as payment, promotion, and feels like success is coming soon.

I lost the spirit to fight, to fight myself .

When everything becomes easier than before, I slowly and slowly lose my energy and passion.

I miss the time which every time when I have a new project on my hand, after that moment, the only thing in my mind is how to present a best result.

I miss to review in style.com to collect every runway show to find out something I need.

I miss that the only reason can get me out of my house is to shop cigarettes and came back to my computer, listening the music which already repeated for thousand times to finish my project.

I miss the passion I had for fashion, and always believe in myself that one day I will become someone to rock this place.

The stress made us grow and stronger, but look back these years, I didn’t buy any magazines, I didn’t draw at least one collection, I didn’t review on style.com, I didn’t spend more time on fashion after work.

I even missed the exhibition of little black dress by Karl…

Just because I am too afraid to fight, to feel stress anymore.

Because I thought I was ready to be someone’s wife or start to have babies?

Oh then how come I am so unhappy.

I gave up fighting for this time.

Because I didn’t want to taste any stress from work, from fighting for a better position because I brain washed me which I am not enough.

My father always said, never get to comfortable to your life, because once you experienced this comfort, you will forget how sweet to fight.

Unfortunately I did feel comfortable and I lost myself in it.

Even I kept saying which I want to be at a better position and make my ideas to come true.

However, at the end it was just saying.

I thought now staying in Italy is because I have to have experiences and money in order to go somewhere without seeing that my chance has arrived.

After the experiences I had worked for, now finally came to the time to rock it!

If the life I want just to be married by someone, why should I ever come here?

If the life I want just to be easy (earn money and spend on the things I love) , why should I ever come here?

I might earn less in Taiwan but I don’t have to spend so much on living.

I became a O.P from a tough bitch who always fights for what she wants without caring what people might say and think.

Remember we never questioned ourselves and convince a investor to offer us enough money to have our first fashion show when we were 20?

How we yelled to each other just because we had our brand ?

Remember we never stop talking about design just because we loved it so much, and that get us together.

How we took a plenty bottles of beer, tried to finished them while the time we spoke?

Remember how we talked about to be our own bosses one day because it will be our time to lead?

I forgot all of these.

I mislead myself and those desires in my mind which I tried to hide kept reminding by emotions.

New Task from tonight:

I will have lots of must do every day in order to become a manager in the future.

No matter how people will see me, too young, lack of experience, social freak, cold blood, Asian who is trying to running an Italian showroom.

I don’t care because my time will only be used on those things I used to love to do for my future.

I am happy and grateful now that I have only me to worry about.

Will practice and always remember my passion for fashion even in the future I will have other things to worry about.

Cheers my friends, we are all fighters. Never ever forget that after one task, always arrive another.

And thank you for breaking up with me, that I realize for something I love and always wish to achieve, never enough to fight for.

27 rocks, because I still have so much time to fulfill my dreams.