without label & infinity possibility

I am about to make a point and I wish that no one is going to take personal.

I have been observed this point of view since my little trip back my home country, and have continued this idea when I came back to Milan.

As I told, in these months I realized some personal valuation and I decided to get closer to myself in order to find out the causes why I became unhappy.

And in this period (till now) , more than one person who is around me reminded me that I wasn’t acting as a normal person.

At first, I though, it might be true because after all, those people are my families, close friends, and coworkers who I spent more time with than myself.

Normally I chose to listen to them, however, this time don’t know why I decided to find my own answer to everything.

Love, job , future, and who am I…subjects which I never spent this much time to figure out.

Did I figure out all?

No, for all will be an inspired and fairy tell like answer.

However, being alone like this helps me to listen to my voice which I kept it away for this long.

I know exactly for each day what I want to accomplish and even in the most boring moment, I can try to take it easy instead of let my anger leads me to my burning point.

And sit there and sigh.

People who is close to me doesn’t get the point, they think I am trying to push them away, because I am so damn hurt.

It made me wonder, is there a possibility that everything I did just because I wanted to pretend I am ok.

Maybe one day I am going to break down again and depress myself more than before?

They told me, you are not the way you supposed to be, the way everyone knows you , you should act like……..ect

Which I really want to explain, but I find it really useless.

Which I tried, but doesn’t convince everyone of course.

When I speak…people directly defend their idea instead convincing themselves to believe that I don’t want to announce that I am changed.

I don’t know I am changed or not because I can feel myself but I can’t feel how I as a lover, friend, family to others.

But something crosses my mind more than often, which it’s a power and faith to me.

In some points, I rather believe myself instead of trying to listen to others, seeking for clues.

Yes, people might finds me being selfish which I spent less time caring other people instead of caring what should I do to get more time with myself.

But guys, I started to believe myself and I know whoever can think better solution than me to my life.

Which its incredible because I normally ask for opinion on everything and my decision changed every single two minutes.

It’s beautiful that I can feel I am back to my life game again.

Remember I had mentioned once in one of my article that if you keep being positive and knowing what you want for life, the whole universe will help you?

Well, this is what happened to me recently.

Notice well, I found so many people who suddenly showed up to offer me a help.

More interestedly , I didn’t ask for this help, however, they just showed up in occasion and they just offered.

I believe this is the positive energy which is starting to work out.

And that is why I want to continue to do the things it might looks odd, to believe things which people might shake their heads.

I am not encouraging to live in a fantasy world which you believe the world only exists only beautiful things.

No! I said, listen to your heart (if there are too many voices, ideas, then think everyone without judgments first, because your head likes to judge and makes you feel that you will never make it)

Then be brave to take a try.

Don’t listen to your parents, friends l…ect because when they give you advices, sometimes which are not 100% pure.

They are afraid to see you change into another way to hang out.

You are labeled already by their experiences with you and subconscious from their needs, expectation, and their fear.

This is a weakness which everyone carries in order to survive.

We are all afraid of changes, because we thought that we are born to complete ourselves by the world, love, and social world.

If you are always so busy to reach those, when are you going to complete yourself by searching for who you are?

If you kept feeling it’s so important what people will say, when are you going to be ready to start to do something.

Be brave and stay alone to find who am I is the task I am doing now.

By ignoring voices from others and make decision by myself made me lose some friends, even fight with family.

I don’t want to label myself to be someone to others.

Without label means infinity possibility.