Diary

psychologist always recommends their patient to get used to write diary.
Write down those dark thoughts which the paticent has and he/she will decide to share with the doc or not.
Some selfhelp insitution such as AA encourage their group memebers to share their own experience which normally work out very well.

My previous diary was written when I was panic, or sad whatever how was..anyway negative.

However, I am grateful and proud that I wrote it down without thinking that there might be someone consider that I was crazy or too needy.


But do you believe it?

By writing down every thoughts even the bad ones, I come closer to myself.
Ancient Military Chiese Traning book  was noted that" In order to win the enemy, you must know who is this enemy and get to know him very well".

It made me to think, who is my enemy? It's someone who is prettier, smarter, more successful than me?


No, I am my biggest enemy.

When something unstandable happened to me, the first thing I would do is to text, to call in order to through this sorrow to someone else.
He / She will have to figure out how to comfort me.
Day by day, sometimes it will last only for a day but worstly it can last for months.

Emotion comes and goes, returns and restarts.
At the end, I found myself in this circle and couldn't get out.

For example, when one of my family passed away recently. The first thing that I did was to text to my ex. I knew that he would offer me  a functional speech and I would feel better.

I did feel better, but what about day after?
Just like you go to a bar and ask for a beer and you wish deeply the bartender can greeting you like free service.
If he can't greeting you, then you will not offer him a tip.
But honestly, a bartender who had already done his job well when he served you the beer.

You can try to ask for a stranger : hey, please ask me how am I doing.
He/She will respond you like this: Hey, it's your own business.

It's more than correct that it is your own business.

It proved also one of my point few days ago, please remind yourself to search for the keys on the right spot.

I will keep writing because it's such a beautiful thing to oberserve myself.

Cheers!