Power

Before I send my CV to a famous company in Rome, I"d like to write a blog to share my life recently.
It helps me to calm myself :)
As usual, vodka on the right hand side, and cig on my left hand side.

This week there is a lot going on in my life.

First, I finished reading a book : To know a new you by De Feng Chang, and opened a study group (only two / three members) to share.
Which is really great, because me and my lovely members actually read it and compared our lives until now proved the points from the book.

And now I have been reading a new one called : Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (the same writer wrote The Power of Now).

Which I found, the problems I had found lead me to the conclusion which I must find my own power, which comes out directly from my first hand being instead of seeking from outside.

And the point we had mentioned : surrender.

The more you fight for the situation which is done, the more you cant surrender.
To surrender does not mean your a weak person, however, it will helps you to let go all the masks you had created against to everyone and everything.

The simple way to see you surrendered or not is :
Have you tried to control everything or everyone to get what you desire?
Have you got emotional all the time just because you are not satisfied with the situation now?
Have you try to blame to everything, everyone that caused your pain or problems?

well, if you are as I was. Surrender.
Simple and easy, just to face the problems and emotions without any label and judgement.
Feel the emotions without fear or shame.
Then tell yourself, now in this moment, this is what it is.
you can to change it, but only if you surrender.
Then your decision and your movement will be done under the clear conscious.

Well, I am not a good writer, so please purchase the books I mentioned,I am sure the writer explains all your doubts.

Second, I am about to move next week.
I was hoping I can use some help but at the end I decided to handle it on my own.
Not because I felt shame, honestly I felt great that I can accomplish this by myself.
I will box everything and work with the moving company to get everything to my new home.

At beginning I felt scared to do this on my own, because that feels I am so lonely bla bla bla.
However, when I eventually called the moving company, I realized I was worried too much.
Of course I can do it by myself, although I got friends to help but it feels fantastic to know the next time I will move, either with help or not, I will be fearless.

Third, I remember a person who ever told me one time, I had to try to find my happiness on my own.
Which shocked me because I thought its totally bullshit, I will never get used to gain happiness by myself.

However, I got my second interview for design on sat, and I did present my portfolio to the owner.
He got me another contact & opportunity in famous brand  which based in Rome.
After seeing him, I was on the metro and kept thinking the possibility for me to live in Rome.
I always felt Milan is my home, and I spent four years to build out some sort of life.

Should I try to send out my CV?
But I am scared........ to be totally alone...

I know I have to try this out, to update myself and challenge myself in every single way.
Only in this way, I will gain my own power instead wishing someone, something will save me from difficulties and loneliness.

wish me luck who ever is reading this one.

And wish all of you can gain your own power,then you will find the peace is on their way.